5/11
It was my fault. I want that to be the preamble to everything I’m about to say. Ok you can continue reading now.
My girlfriend and I got into an argument recently. She was having a slight dental issue, to which I suggested she call the dentist. She said said he didn’t want to. I called the dentist anyway and said “do you want to speak to them?” She said she would rather jump out of a plane. That’s when I called her the ‘C’ word.
No, not that ‘C’ word you heathens.
It was actually worse.
I said she was being Crazy.
I was the one being that other thing.
I knew the second the word left my mouth that I was wrong. As I was saying it time slowed down. My head I was like “what on earth are you doing??? This is not going to end well for you!!!”
Spoiler alert…it didn’t.
Now my girlfriend and I rarely fight. In fact, I’ve never really fought with any of my significant others.
My ex-wife threw coffee at me one time but it was Iced Coffee so I don’t think that counts. My ex-girlfriend and I dated for over four years and the biggest fight I remember us getting into was about whether or not the All-Star game should effect who gets home field advantage in the World Series.
My current relationship has followed a similar pattern. The only time we really fight is when I can’t feign interest in walking around the mall:
Scene 1 (At home)
Girlfriend: You want to walk around the mall?
Me: Um…sure?
Scene 2 (At the mall)
Girlfriend: Would I look pretty in this dress?
Me: (Not looking up, staring at my phone) Uh-huh.
Girlfriend: You didn’t even look at me.
Me: (Still staring at my phone) You always look pretty.
Girlfriend: (Throws Iced Coffee at me)
End of play.
I think we tend to canonize people who are sick. We admire our bravery and the things we have to go through but at the same time, we are people. Capable of being the same assholes that everyone else is. And it must be weird for the people who see us every day, the people who love us the most, to deal with our human side. While the rest of the world is like “he’s so brave” they’re like:
“yeah but he still can’t load the dishwasher for shit.”
“He might be inspiring but his closet is a disaster.”
“I didn’t know a side effect of chemo is that you couldn’t be bothered to make the bed for six months.”
Basically what I am saying is that the real heroes are the ones that put up with our asses. The ones who come to chemo with us and deal with us when we are in bad moods and don’t feel well. The ones we lash out at when we are nervous and afraid. The ones who ask us “have you taken your vitamins, have you taken your vitamins” to which we respond “yes I’ve taken my vitamins! Ugh!”
Thank you for letting us be sick… and the occasional asshole.
