Self Care Day 2

self-care

/ˌselfˈker/

noun

the practice of taking action to preserve or improve one's own health. I started my month of self care yesterday by getting chemo and sleeping for over 20 hours. I also threw up twice in the during that time. Which didn’t feel like self care at the time, but did once it was over.

Now I’m on Day 2. I guess the first step in self care is doing what you want to do? I’m trying to let that be my guide. But that can be confusing. During the two hours I was awake last night I wanted to watch the Cubs game, but when they gave up seven runs in the first two innings that didn’t feel so good anymore. Self care then became turning it off and watching Portlandia. I find I can only handle one episode of Portlandia at a time without feeling insane, so at 9pm I headed back to bed and slept for another twelve hours.

That much sleeping doesn’t feel like an option today, so now I’ve got to figure out what to do while I’m awake. Does anyone else have this problem? Not knowing what to do without projects and work staring you in the face? For the past six weeks I’ve been promoting and rehearsing and performing STAGES. Now that that’s over, I feel like I’m staring into the abyss. And by the abyss I mean this pile of clothes that need folded sitting on the bed behind me. Is that self care? The feeling of accomplishment I would get from folding them? The pride I would get by showing Jaimie on her lunch break?

Or should self care only be fun? Playing golf sounds fun right now, but I don’t think it’s the best for my body.

The action to preserve or improve one’s health. Ok. I’m going to fold these clothes and sit by the pool. That’s my plan for self care number one. That should take all of two hours. Giving me 11 to figure out what the fuck to do next. If you hear of me singing Grateful Dead karaoke know I've gone to far and send help quickly.

Namaste!